Suzanne Somers’s vagina will live to be 110

And unfortunately for us, we won’t be alive to see it…but it would have been great to watch a 110-year-old Suzanne Somers attempting to do the thighmaster and shredding her centurian vagina to pieces. The urge to be there is so strong we’re almost persuaded to also start rubbing testosterone on our chest in hope it will do something similar to cryogenic freezing.

To explain, Suzanne Sommers, 62, went on Oprah on Thursday and told the world how she injects hormones into her vagina, rubs some more on her arms and takes 60 pills every day, all in an attempt to live as long as humanly possible.   

She begins with rubbing a syringe of estrogen on one arm, every day. For two weeks out of the month, she rubs progesterone on the other. After that, she injects estriol vaginally, which she graciously spared the audience from watching.

She can’t start her day without taking 40 pills, 15 of which she downs in a thick, yellow smoothie her husband makes for her (she says it’s the secret to their marriage!). Then she ends her day with an additional 20 pills at night before bed.

While she admits the routine makes her seem “like some kind of fanatic,” she says it has helped her beat the “Seven Dwarfs of Menopause: Itchy, B**chy, Sleepy, Sweaty, Bloated, Forgetful and All Dried Up.”

“I wanna be there,” she said, pointing to her head. “Until I’m 110. And I’m going to do what I have to do to get there.”