The guests were many, but the plunging necklines and dress slits were even more, giving as a great opportunity to use our own image scanning device (see expert sets of saturated eyes) to analyze their, er, anatomy and subsequently score them.
Let’s start with Sanaa Lathan. Natural breasts, check, fullness check, semi-perkiness check. Only issue is the stretchmarks…too bad because that cost her a few points. 7/10
Tichina Arnold. Similar low-cut goddess dress, but boobs look like two small oranges lost in a grove full of ugly fruits (merely referring to the size, not the quality of the attendants’s mammaries) a bit awkward in that dress. High marks for perkiness and roundness though. 6/10
Kenya Moore. Great fullness, natural fall, no apparent stretchmarks. We were attempted to take points off for the frizzy hair, but he had to keep in mind this is strictly about the boobs. So, she’s an 8/10
Halle Berry. Halle used to own a fantastic set of mammaries, but lately there’s been some deflation witnessed. In this dress she expertly gives them support without appearing to be as such and gives the illusion of more fullness with the draped fabric. Alas, we can’t be fooled (mainly because we saw the pictures of her losing her top during a recent scene shooting of her new film) and so unfortunately we have to give her a 6/10.
Brittany Daniel. Aside from the fact that we’re still puzzled as to what Brittany was doing at the NAACP Awards, we’re also questioning her choice of dress. Honey, this dress is made for women with a considerable rack. Your Bs don’t cover nearly enough of the required territory and so that area’s left looking like a burnt down forest with a couple of stumpy trees left alive. High marks for perkiness though. 7/10
Jennia Fredrique. Analysis revealed a true pancake status and twins that don’t see eye to eye (translation: one points to the east and one points to the west). 4/10
Eva Marcille. High marks for showing us her nipple and for allowing us to view her toned and sexy body through her sheer dress (love the dress by the way). We have to admit that in this case, we are heavily biased by the rest of the body, so eventhough the featured breasts are small, we can’t help but give a high score (because we also want to maintain objectivity and not always allow the gravitational pull of the heavy racks take us down with them). 9/10
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