Lonely succulent cleavage seeks new warm hands to fondle it

Well, if there was ever a good time to become a stalker, this would be it. After ditching Brian Austin Green, the girl of our dreams is now free as a bird and that body of hers is up for grabs.

So phase 1 of the plan, we follow her to Starbucks, we have our sidekick accidentally spill her coffee by pushing her, and like the regular daytime heroes that we are, we offer her a new one (decaf capuccino with extra foam, just the way she likes it).

We then have another ”associate” slash one of her tires (it won’t be on the same day though, it would be too obvious) and low and behold, we’re there to rescue her one more time (it would have to be at the Starbucks parking lot so she wouldn’t think we’re following her)…and then we get married and we spend the rest of our lives in bed…or it can go the other way and we get to spend the rest of our days wearing an orange suit…but it’s worth the risk.