Dita Von Teese’s answer to Mel B’s striptease

Dita Von Teese who’s working her “arousing” routine at the Triple Door in Seattle these days has a thing or two to teach Mel B(who’s performing in a rather copycat show in Las Vegas) in the art of erotic, burlesque stripping:

1) Stop all heavy quad exercises immediately. Thighs that can squeeze the life out of an anaconda are not meant to swing seductively.

2) Don’t shake your ass cheeks too much when you’re wearing nothing but a crotch pasty. Pubic hair and vaginal sweat may fly on to some audience’s faces.

3)Never use a champagne bottle to climb into while doing a live show. Firefighters may be called in to extract you after getting stuck.

4) Singing the following while your bits are hanging out is strictly prohibited. Following lyrics require a legs-apart stance and we just can’t have that:

“Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.