Last night, Paris Hilton was in the mood for some boobs…kinda like other people get in the mood for a gallon of chocolate-chip ice-cream. And so she took her bicycle tire pump, attached it to her ribcage hole and started pumping until she got to a satisfactory 34C.
The result was so amazing, an unknown curious party-goer at H.Wood where Paris and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt were partying couldn’t help but touch them…just to make sure they weren’t made of gelatine. Doug took offense and pushed the guy at which point the curious guy’s friend threw a bottle at him. Thanks to his cool Matrix moves, Doug evaded the bottle course and according to reports, he and Frankie Delgado ended up giving the offenders a good beating.
Meanwhile, an oblivious Paris started dancing to her song “Stars are Blind” which the deejay played to calm things down…because really, who cares if your guy is getting beat up defending your mammaries…just as long as you get to dance to the musical genius that is you. We sure hope she lets the guy grope her a few times before she deflates those puppies…just to make all the punching worth while…
Only a complete dipshit that wears his baseball cap backwards (went out of style ten years ago) would want to be seen holding hands with Paris.