Cher turns back time…and burns our eyes in the process

Cher has been desperate to prove that at 62 she’s still as hot as she was 20 years ago when she filmed her “Turn Back Time” video wearing a net and thigh-high boots.

And so, through bi-monthly cryogenesis (they defrost her after 24 hours in the cryogenic thalamus), weekly facial pull-ups via surgical suturing and a daily diet of embryonic stem cells she has finally managed to do just that at a David Foster and Friends concert Saturday in Las Vegas.

 At 62 she’s as hot as she was 20 years ago…and that would be true if we were also 62 or above. And because we’re not, we will try to forget that we just witnessed a granny shaking her giggly, naked ass on stage (even if it was held up with forceps hidden in her leather jacket)…because if we don’t The Nightmare on Cher Street will burn our memories for ever…