It's all about the wounded for the New Hoff

After having escaped death for what seems to be the 20th time (cats have nothing on The Hoff), David Hasselhoff decided to turn a new page in his book of “Drinking Till I’m Foaming At The Mouth” and let his two daughters be his chaperones (See pics) whenever he goes out…unless ofcourse the visit is at the Playboy mansion in which case 16 and 19-year old chaperones are not allowed entrance.

But before you rush to judge daddy, be aware that the event was for the Wounded Warrior Project, benefiting wounded American soldiers, so the rush to show his patriotism was understandable…even when he had to lick the vodka trickling down from the cleavage river of a non-wounded female soldier (aka naked playboy bunnies with painted-on army attire).

And because we said it’s all about the wounded for the new man that is The Hoff, his next plan is to travel to England to honor Hoff The Hero Dog, a little dog named after him who saved his master from his burning home…by waking him up (we believe his fur was “wounded” in the process).

Finally, to solidify our case that he has turned a new corner (preferably one with a liquor store), he has now sworn to his two daughters to only date mature women his own age…well, sort of: “I was flirting with a waitress and my daughter, Hayley, said to me, ‘She only likes you because you’re rich, famous and on TV, Dad.’ So I said, ‘What’s wrong with that?’ Hayley said I wasn’t allowed to date anyone under 40 – but I’ve got it down to 28 now!