Jean Claude Van Damme "briefs" us on his new movie

The Muscles From Brussels was in Cannes (of course, this is the place where all kinds of party animals roll around in confetti and booze–see Paris, Phoebe Price etc– and nobody checks the hospitals for swine flu corpses…so why wouldn’t they let Van Damme and the terrorist bomb in his speedo come in?) to promote his new movie In The Eagles Path and saw it fitting to show us his own eagle pecking at his cotton briefs.

Honestly, we don’t know what’s worse: Paris’s tongue washing her boyfriend’s face, Phoebe Price looking for coins in her thigh-high stiletto boots on the beach or Van Damme poking as in the eye with his woodpecker…either way, the Cannes Film Festival has been a blast of vomit…can’t wait for next year…