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Brooke Shields hits mid-life crisis and becomes pre-occupied with sex

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Just recently she posed as a semi-naked cougar seducing a young man and luring him into her lair (magazine’s spin: Brooke Shield’s empowers women)…now she’s tortured by regret for not having wild sex with her school’s football team (kidding…just the part about having sex with the whole team is untrue)…in a couple months expect to see hear the rumours that Brooke Shield’s is cheating on her husband with a 20-year old..

“I think I would have had sex a lot earlier,” the actress tells Helath Magazine in its June issue. “I think I would have been much more in touch with myself.”

“I think I wouldn’t have had issues with weight – I carried this protective 20 pounds [in college]. It was all connected,” she says. “I think I would have lost my virginity earlier than I did at 22.”

“The older I get, the younger I feel,” the actress says. “Growing up, I was always the kid, but I spoke like an adult and was in adult roles…I always thought when you get older, you’ll want to slow down, but I want to do even more.”

Which translates to: “My people already spoke to Hef and he promised my July centerfold will be sexy, yet classy”.

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