Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt:no more tongue-o dancing

Yes, as shocking and unexpected as this is, those 2347 public displays of affection (not including the 3678 Lumalight-detected displays of semen on Paris) did not lead to a house in the burbs and 5 children for Paris Hilton and her now ex-boyfriend Doug Reinhardt.

After 6 months, which is an eternity in the ho-tel heiress’s book, the couple called it quits. Paris’s rep confirmed the news to People Magazine.

Possible reasons for the split:1) Doug Reinhardt was getting too good at posing infront of the camera and he was stealing some of Paris’s oxygen, er, attention. 2) She got a wake-up call. The engagement ring he got her was well under $1million. 3) They completed all the scenes required for the new Paris Sex Tape.