Victoria Beckham and her renewed set of mammaries

Not to admit to being the Nostradamus of gossip, but having seen more surgically enhanced mammaries than a Beverly Hills doctor will ever get to grope and examine (ok, maybe not in their 3-D version), we did declare Victoria Beckham had gotten a 3rd boob job when we saw pictures of her in a see-through shirt just last week (they looked like a penis with a 24/7 erection).

So we thought we take a trip down memory lane…our way of paying tribute to Victoria Beckham’s implants…many of which now lie as hazardous waste in surgical bins.

Ex-Spice Girl Victoria had her first boob job in 1999, when a London clinic increased her bust from its natural size of 34A to 34D.

Further surgery two years later took her to a 34DD(she also had capsular contracture which made them look harder than her hubby’s football).

However, gravity affects everything…even plastic hiding under muscle. And so, faced with saggy boobs (see pic 4), Victoria visited a Los Angeles plastic surgeon to have the DDs removed and replaced with 34Bs…which is nutty because it’s like driving a Mercedes and then downsizing to a Mini Cooper…or like having penis enlargement and then deciding to give it the masculine quality of your pinkie by basically chopping it off…

British tabloid The Sun claims that Victoria took the implants out all together, which, from what the latest picture shows, there is no way in hell. Calling upon our expertise once again, we’d have to say that as she got older and thinner, the fat around the implants disappeard and to deal with the appearance of ripples (if you ever saw pictures of a drunk Janice Dickinson with her boobs hanging out, then you’d know what we’re talking about) she had to downsize and lift ( in this case the surgeon did it a bit overenthusiastically and as a result her chest is now a miniature of the Buckingham palace with its two guards at the gates always standing at attention).

A source of the tabloid said: “Victoria has wanted her implants taken out for a while. She felt that was part of her old WAG image – the big hair, big boobs, fake tan – and that she has moved on since those days.

“She had the op three weeks ago and is very pleased with the results. After the op she came to London for business then went to France to heal properly in private.”