Clooney debuts girlfriend at premiere after attack by gay reporter

George Clooney looked absolutely p***y-whipped as he walked the red carpet with Elisabetta Canalis at the Venice Premiere of his upcoming movie Men Who Stare At Goats which by the way is a very fancy title for describing what he does every day of his life, i.e staring at vaginas until he gets cross-eyed.

His injured hand (the fool slammed it in a car door) could indicate his p***y-whipped behaviour at the premiere was not staged, but if you’re a cynical (and we’re not, we’re incurable romantics who definitely believe love can blossom right out of a cocktail tray), and you read the following you might assume it was a panic move to hide the fact that he’s A Man Who Also Likes To Stare At Bucks.

Here’s what went down yesterday according to the DailyMail:

“Carrying on the romantic theme, a press conference to launch the film on the Venice Lido yesterday descended into chaos when a gay Italian TV reporter tried to corner Clooney on persistent rumours about his sexuality.

In a bizarre incident, Mauro Casciari stripped down to underpants in front of hundreds of bemused reporters revealing the words ‘George Clooney Choose Me’ and offered himself up to Clooney as boyfriend material.

Security guards steamed in and the reporter was swiftly escorted over the festival boundaries.

Mr Casciari said afterwards: ‘There have been lots of rumours that George is gay. I wanted him to come out and offered myself to him. So I wrote on my underwear Choose Me and stripped off. I didn’t get the answer I wanted however.’

Clooney brushed off the incident.”