Kanye West to check into rehab after tour

Kanye West is not an egomaniac and a racist. He’s an egomaniac and racist alcoholic with a mean streak when he’s had a few.

“His drinking is getting worse. When he has too much he can be mean in obnoxious. If he doesn’t get help soon things could spiral out of control,” a source says of West.

 But don’t think that all the whities bitching about his VMA behavior or his guilty conscience is what’s pushing him to rehab. The truth is, it’s that one word…that word which is repeated in his mind countless times when he’s dreaming: ”jackass, jackass, jackass, jackaaaaaaaasssssss!!!!!!” Because in truth, someone with Kanye’s ego would only be convinced that he’s fucked up when the president of the U.S (and a fellow african-american no less) tells him he’s fucked up.

So now, we will have to thank Obama for saving Kanye’s ass from alcohol obliteration…maybe. Because Kanye’s promised to check in after his Fame Kills tour with Lady Gaga ends in January…and by then we’re thinking he’s going to want to drink even more…because it takes being on liquid eraser 24/7 to prevent your brain from “Lady Gaga naked and with no make-up” sensory overload.