Ozzy Osbourne's sex life:everything you didn't want to know

You gotta love Ozzy Osbourne. He’s so beyond caring what the world thinks of him that he has no qualms revealing the only purpose his d**k has is to give Sharon a vaginal rash. Which is no surprise to anyone who’s ever watched Ozzy getting peed on by Sharon’s army of PMSing poodles and barely managing to come out of his semi-comatose state to utter a curse word…or twelve.

In his new book I am Ozzy (out this week), we learn , among other things, that the closest thing to an orgasm Sharon has come to in years is probably when The Hoff accidentally rubs his leg against hers when they’re sitting next to each other for America’s Got Talent…because while he’s still up for sex at 60 he can never seal the deal.

And he blames anti-depressants he takes since quitting booze and drugs for wrecking his love life with Sharon.

Ozzy admits: “I end up pumping away on top of Sharon like a road drill all night, with nothing happening.”

He even tried wonder drug Viagra to spice things up, but that didn’t do the trick either. “By the time it kicked in, Sharon was fast asleep,” he says.

The crazy ex-Black Sabbath frontman also reveals that he decided to kick his wild ways after throwing a TV out of a hotel window and seeing a video of himself drunk at daughter Kelly’s birthday party.