Bestselling author (no really!) Katie Price pumps out new books about as often as she gets a nip and a tuck. It’s been less than 3 months since the British party girl released her last book, “Sapphire,” and next week comes her latest ghost-written masterpiece.
Her newest literary achievement is a guide to style (no really!) that will help readers achieve the ‘Jordan’ look. Obviously anyone who buys this book is a complete moron. We’ll give you advice on how to look like Jordan for free:
1. Start with the deepest, richest spray tan that money can buy.
2. Start saving up! Watermelon-sized breasts and collagen-filled lips don’t grow on trees!
3. Buy long-ish T-shirts to wear as dresses. In a pinch, wear the tawdriest lingerie in your drawer.
4. Plastic stripper heels!
5. Get a drag queen to do your makeup.
Aaaand, you’re done! Congratulations, that’ll be $25 and all your self dignity!
