Madonna gets her hands (evil biceps and veins) dirty in Malawi

Those of you who know Madonna’s ways of operating must surely wonder if those are graves she’s digging (although she’d do that at night when there’d be no cameras around). For you know those biceps bulk up and the veins get throbby only when she’s doing dirty work, i.e closing in on the victim of the day, devouring it in an instance and burying the few remaining bones to get rid of incriminating evidence.

Madonna was in Malawi over the weekend to kick off the construction of her newest “charitable” endeavor, the Raising Malawi Academy for Girls (translation: now she can snatch as many children as she wants with the country’s blessing), by shoveling the first ceremonial mound of dirt on the center’s site just outside the capital city of Lilongwe.

Alas Madonna got quickly bored and started roaring (or yawning depending on whether you buy her act) and Malawians had to offer a little girl’s one-legged father as a sacrificial lamb to appease her.

So all in all, it was another boring weekend in Malawi.