Here’s proof that when you let a baby suck on your boobs for too long in messes up your brain. Nicole Kidman has had enough raw and oozing nipples to last her a life time and has decided to reemerge as the sexy, dangerous vixen we not know her to be in the December issue of British GQ. The result is as soft and natural as a gargoyle cyborg in stockings and a bra (because when the gallon of botox you’ve injected in your face trickles down to your g-spot, there’s so much Photoshop can do).
Anyway, bottom line is that we’ve learnt quite a few interesting things:
she needs to wear a life-vest and carry around a tube of vaseline 24/7 because her current marriage to Keith Urban is raw and dangerous, Tom Cruise’s penis was an absolute borefest (perhaps because it only woke up when other boys where in the room) and that she has explored some weird fetish stuff (which were probably going on when she and Tom were filming The Eye and involved Nicole being naked on a Pentagram while a group of scientologists examined her ruined fallobian tubes, mauled on whether to sacrifice her to Ron Hubbard and decided on a treatment course which included Tom spanking her uterus a few times a day while wearing his white robe and chanting in hopes it would wake up and produce him an offspring).
Here are excerpts of the interview:
I’ve explored obsession. I’ve explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I’ve explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I’ve explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy,’ she said.
On her present marriage:
‘You work on it,’ she said. ‘It’s a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous and you’re very much out at sea. You’re exposed. You could drown.
When you commit to someone like that, you live and die together by that decision.’
‘I became famous very young. I became very famous because I was the wife of somebody,’ she told GQ.
‘I did a lot of good, worthwhile work in Australia between the ages of 14 and 19 and then I married someone famous. And really, despite the huge profile that brought to me, I was still finding my feet.
‘I know my agents at the time were like “Do not get married! It will ruin your career!” and I was like “But I’m in love”. All I know is that I wasn’t someone interested in fame. And that’s not why I got married. I wanted to work with people who intrigued me.’
Talking about people’s obsession with blogs and social networking websites, she said: ‘If you know what is going on inside somebody’s head all the time, that’s not a good place.
‘You can’t read somebody’s diary. You shouldn’t read it. I burnt most of my journals after I remarried… You’re only going to find out bad things.’
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she needs an ass licking.