Recording: Lindsay Lohan was secretly dating Heath Ledger when he died

We’re not quick to jump to conclusions here…on second thought, we are: Lilo, what did you do to Heath? Are you the one that deprived us of the best Joker ever?

Jokes aside folks (because in truth, Heath must have had serious issues to begin with if he was willing to risk it all and sleep with an STD time bomb), we’re starting to think Michael Lohan, deep, deep down, is an altruistic SOB. After all, why would he want these tapes released (dow, cough, dow) when Dina is blatantly accusing him of destroying their family? Or is it because we get to find out that Dina also thinks her daughter is not only 200% f***ed up, but also genetically impaired? Michael, you cheeky little bastard!

Here’s the full story:

In a shocking recorded phone conversation between parents Michael and Dina Lohan, Lindsay’s mom reveals the starlet was dating Heath Ledger at the time of his tragic death in January 2008.

“She was dating Heath when he died,” Dina revealed in the recording, posted on RadarOnline.com. “I don’t know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends. Very, very close, okay?”

In the 2008 audio tape, Dina claims the untimely death of the Australian actor triggered LiLo’s downward spiral. Ledger’s death was ruled accidental as a result of “acute intoxication” caused by a combination of six kinds of pills.

“That f—-d her up,” Dina says. “When she’s drunk or takes an Adderall with it, she will do something like Heath Ledger did in a second without thinking.”

Dina also suggests the 23-year-old’s problems were stemmed from her parent’s tumultuous marriage, a sore subject Lindsay has previously said involved domestic abuse.

“She cannot be alone,” Dina claims. “When she sleeps here she sleeps with me… she has fears from being little and what you did to us.”

Former assistant Jenni Muro was a constant presence in Lindsay’s life, as was another assistant named Laurie. Dina claims that Jenni can provide the help her daughter needs and save her.

Referencing Lindsay’s suspended license from a second DUI arrest in 2007, Dina says she’s grateful her daughter is not allowed to drive.

“She’s got to take that whole course, thank God. Imagine her behind the wheel of a car right now?” Dina asks. “That would be deadly.”

Dina also expressed concern for Lindsay’s turbulent on-again-off-again relationship with girlfriend Samantha Ronson. She says she thinks her famous daughter should leave the situation, but she understands it isn’t an easy decision for Lindsay.

“It’s very easy for a rational person to say,” Dina added. “But [not] for an irrational person who has a problem with her DNA and alcohol and Adderall and asthma and every other things she’s got wrong with her.”