Desperate times call for desperate measures:Lindsay Lohan simulates threesome for magazine

Lindsay Lohan has posed topless for an upcoming issue of French magazine ‘Purple’. She has been photographed by Gucci photographer Terry Richardson known for his racy photo shoots. In the shoot she can be seen simulating sex with both a man and woman. No word if Lindsay demanded to take the “lesbian” chick in the photo shoot home as a freebie…or at least the guy if the girl had issues sleeping with an emaciated Santa Claus of STDs or at the very least with crotch lice (because guys are more into risky stunts when it comes to where they stick their penis in).

And just to remind everyone how life for Lohan didn’t always evolve around peddling for free cellphones, calling friends to pay her booze tap and hanging around bathrooms so she can lick traces of coke found on the sinks of parties she’s crushing (no we take that back, it was always like that, but back then people still insisted on paying her to do something), she had once turned down a $700,000 offer to appear topless in Playboy magazine (a big phew for all of us who didn’t want to experience what a gyno experiences when a torn vagina with yeast infection and orange pubic hair turns up and demands a pap smear) .

She has, however, bared all on one previous occasion in a photo shoot for New York magazine in which she dressed as icon Marilyn Monroe (see pic).

Meanwhile, Lindsay was busy preparing Thanksgiving dinner with her family at their home in Long Island, New York, according to reports. Lindsay’s mother Dina said: “Lindsay is making the garlic mashed potatoes. They are amazing!” But she left behind the part where Michael Lohan was invited and that the mashed potatoes were laced with arsenic. Michael, Noooooooo!!! They want to kill you like Snow White!

Well, since it’s already The Day After, it’s probably a good time to start googling the words “corpse”, “floating” and “Long Island sound”. Think we’re come up with something big…