
Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post.
Lange’s frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said.
Lange sustained six “hesitation wounds” and three deep plunges.
A source close to Lange’s management team confirmed that the sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food.
Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding.
“We all have our demons,” Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange’s past battles with addiction. “Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He’s a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don’t forget how great he is.”


















I listened to Stern a while ago. I liked Artie, they had a lot of funny **** together. Too bad. Get better, Artie.
BABABOOIE!!!!!!!!
Had this loser gone to Ted’s Suicide Knife Emporium, he may have succeeded in ending his miserable life.
By the way, Howie Stern invented suicide by knife. Hoo Hoo, tell ‘em Fred!
I’m sorry Artie – I shouldn’t have had you sit on my lap all those times…I thought you liked it as much as I did
Oh, uncle Paul.
L – O- L, Once again Ted is on top of things. Here I was thinking you only had a Knife Emporium. Ted, your the best. Thanks for your incredible Emporiums.
I shop for my little friends at all of Ted’s Emporiums…
stabbed himself how many times ???,and still missed!!!,what a fucktard!!!
Must have been a pretty dull knife.
I was once a fan, then I wasn’t, then I said to myself “bury the hatchet.” You should’ve used a hatchet Artie! No really, live to regret with the rest of us. Get well soon; or at least well enough to be a burden on everyone who cares for you, like the rest of us. You know the fun thing about misery? It loves company! Except for mine. My misery loves inventing stories about my bedsores and creating elatborate lies to alienate everyone around me. Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.
**** all u haters. Artie is a good hearted guy that doesn’t deserve to be judged by u assholes. U proved to be more fucked up in the head than u claim artie is. Get well buddy