Paris Hilton's trooper of a vagina is coping with personal and global tragedies remarkably well

Taking Casey Johnson’s poodles for manicures and sending out a Twitter message about helping Haiti victims have taken their toll on Paris Hilton and her super sensitive, awesome heart and so she went to Vegas to heal…and by that we mean moving on to global issues of much more importance such as the launch of ParisHilton.com (for which she went on a two day celebration at the Vanity club in Hard Rock Hotel), getting drunk, trying to tickle her boyfriend’s endocrine system with her tongue and giving her vagina the freedom of speech and the podium to express it (aka the leather couch and an inebriated guy’s head as the microphone). Phew…and just when we were thinking the world has gone shallow, Paris comes to restore our faith in humanity once again.