A-Rod wants to bang The Joker

OK! magazine is reporting that Alex Rodriguez has hooked up with Cameron Diaz and that the couple made their first public appearance during the Super Bowl weekend festivities in Miami during which Cameron was drunk and shaking her ass at A-Rod.

Having thought about this, the only plausible conclusion is that A-Rod’s penis is like a world traveler who still wants to visit god-forsaken places on earth like Uganda or Burma even if malaria or ethnic militia will most likely end up killing him. And so, after satisfying his curiosity on how it would feel like to sleep with a vengeful gargoyle (Madonna) and a boy without being legally persecuted (Kate Hudson) now he wants to see what it must be like to be with someone who can stretch their lips all the way into their ear canal and yell “HELLLLLOOOOO GOTHAM!!! I just wanted to introduce myself. I am The Joker and I would love to bring everyone in this sad forsaken city miles of smiles. So hello goodbye you’re all gonna die!”, right before they orgasm.

Via OK!:

Hollywood actress Cameron Diaz and baseball player A-Rod – who has been single since he split with Kate Hudson in December – were at the CAA Party in Miami when they began flirting.

The 34-year-old New York Yankees player was sitting on a couch beside Cameron as she “was dancing by herself” before moving her gyrating body towards him.

A fellow reveller told OK! magazine: “Katie and Cameron were getting along great. They were having a great time.”

At one point the blonde beauty – who was “tipsy” and being very “fun and flirty” – began “grinding on ‘A-Rod’”.