CSI's Gary Dourdan gets beat up by girlfriend

Gary Dourdan of “CSI” was the alleged victim of domestic violence Tuesday afternoon, and the attacker was none other than his much smaller girlfriend who was promptly cuffed and taken into custody, according to TMZ. Police told the website when they arrived they found Dourdan scratched up. They arrested Maria Asis del Alamo where she was taken to the station and booked on misdemeanor domestic battery.

Now, Maria is 5’8″, 110 lbs and Gary is 6’2″ with a weight of 190. Our first reaction was naturally to assume that Gary Dourdan’s balls were pan-fried and served to his cat for breakfast a long time ago, but upon reviewing the specifics of the case (see pictures of his super hot girlfriend in a bikini during a recent vacation) we have concluded that Gary did what any man would have done in that kind of situation. Which is to sit there, taking all the slapping and the scratching but never failing to let go of the agreement he made her sign that a minimum of four hours of mind-blowing make-up sex would follow the attack. It’s really the only way for the wounds to start healing, folks.