Pamela Anderson is missing the Big Penis

Being the hopelessly romantic that she is, Pamela Anderson has lamented to British tabloids that the absence of a giant cock to hold her at night has left a huge void in her heart: “I always get my heart broken… It’s not so bad being single. I miss sex. It helps me relax. And I’m so unrelaxed at the moment.”

Considering that the above does not count as news to anyone other than that tribe of Hawaiians trapped at the core of Mauna Loa volcano about a hundred years ago, we’re just going to divert your attention to things that might be news to you. Like for example, Pamela Anderson looking like a grilled frittata with tits on her way to somewhere. Oh, wait, this also has happened before, hasn’t it? Ok, how about the fact that she’s barefoot and she could catch something that could slowly kill her, that must count for something, right? Oh, crap, a bunch of 80′s rockers’ penises already did that, didn’t they? Right, we give up.