Spencer Pratt to fight cyber terrorism

Since Heidi Montag took Spencer’s job of reminding her to flex her new facial muscles on the hour away and replaced him with a psychic and he just got himself kicked out of The Hills for flipping out and threatening to kill one of the show’s female producers, he’s decided America needs him to fight its war in cyberspace (Al Qaeda just took a collective piss in its jijab from excessive laughing).

At first we thought government cyber geeks would impregnate every code with Spencer’s image just to piss the s**t out of hostile hackers, but turns out he’s putting his “prestige and millions” into a cybersecurity venture according to the CEO of American Defense Enterprises. Those of you out there who read the words “Spencer Pratt”, “prestige”, and “millions” all in the same sentence and still think this whole thing could be legit, go ahead and slap your face senselessly. You deserve it.

Via FoxNews.com:

Reality television star Spencer Pratt is running from “The Hills” to fight cyber terrorism, FoxNews.com has confirmed.

Bill Beasley, president of American Defense Enterprises, a firearms training firm in Los Angeles, told FoxNews.com that he and Pratt are in the “beginning stages” of negotiations to start a cybersecurity venture.

“He’s always been very patriotic,” Beasley said Monday. “What you see on television is not him. He’s moving out of the Hollywood portion of his life.”

Beasley said Pratt contacted him a few years ago after receiving death threats pertaining to him and his wife, Heidi Montag, who announced last week that Pratt would no longer serve as her manager.

“He wanted to learn how to protect himself,” said Beasley, adding that Pratt is a test away from being certified as a firearms instructor for the firm.

Beasley said Pratt is “putting his prestige and millions” behind the yet-to-be finalized venture.

“We are looking at creating a cybersecurity division separate from ADE,” he said. “It’s rare to see a celebrity put his reputation and actual money up for America itself.”

Pratt, who could not be immediately reached for comment, told People he’s recently discovered a “new passion and new purpose” in life and decided to “take a break” from MTV’s hit reality show for the remainder of the season, though an MTV spokesman told Fox News that Pratt will be featured in the sixth season of “The Hills,” which airs this spring.

“Upon learning of President Obama’s declaration that the ‘cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,’ I have decided to refocus my energy and devote my full resources to helping America face this and other unprecedented challenges,” Pratt told People.

“My new mission is this: To do my part in maintaining the technological superiority of the U.S. military and prevent emerging technologies from threatening our nation’s security.”

Pratt, according to People, is currently studying “software engineering with a focus on encryption” at USC, but a university spokesman told Foxnews.com that Pratt is not currently enrolled.

“He was enrolled from 2003 to 2009 pursuing a major in political science,” USC spokesman James Grant wrote in an e-mail. “I don’t have a record of anything else.”