So Snooki and the rest of her merry band of retards (also known as the cast of Jersey Shore) stopped by Ellen yesterday to put America straight. Proclaiming that people have no idea what they are really like, that our image of them as stupid inbred drunks who use self-tanners way too much is in fact not a correct assessment of them at all. According to Us Magazine:
“I’ll go to frickin’ Barnes & Nobles, get a coffee and just sit down and read,” she says. “No one would ever think that. We have different sides to us and people don’t see that.” Fans might also be surprised that Snooki no longer wants to date a “juicehead.” Says the pint-sized reality starlet, “I think I want to move forward. I want to move Brooklyn and find a business Italian guy to take care of me.”
There are several things anyone can count on if they see Snooki sitting in Barnes & Noble.
First she’ll most likely be holding the book upside down and looking around for the camera, and second, she has to sit on two chairs, since her fat and furiously orange ass is way too wide for just one.
But here I was thinking she was dragged out of an institution that cares for hybrid humans. How wrong was I, she is very much an intellectual, well that and a future gold digger.
September 15, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Who in their right fucking mind watches this s**t??? America, you’re f****d!!!!
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September 15, 2010 at 8:03 pm
What the hell is a Snooki?
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September 15, 2010 at 9:51 pm
Stupid orange b****!
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September 15, 2010 at 11:29 pm
isn’t a snooki a blanket or something? but from the pics above it looks like a relative of the Oompa-Loompa clan
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September 16, 2010 at 8:42 am
I’d tap that. Once they remove the brain tumor that’s making me loco. Or if I came off a deserted island, 15 years later. Or if someone paid me ONE BILLION DOLLARS!!!!
Dr. Evil
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September 16, 2010 at 10:12 am
According to the Urban Dictionary, the deinition of Snooki is to be punched in the face. Something I would love to do do this fake b*tch.
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