Selena Gomez (18) and Justin Bieber (16) were spotted canoodling, nuzzling, butt-touching, kissing, and so on aboard a private yacht over the New Year’s weekend while vacationing in the Caribbean. In other words these are life-changing images! You will always remember where you were when you saw this display of unbridled teen lust.
And a great cry was heard all over Twitter. Seriously, Selena will need some police protection to keep the Beliebers from hunting her down and stabbing her in the face.
But fear not my sobbing tween chicks. I’m sure the Gomez/Bieber relationship consists of nothing more than going to the ice cream shop, painting each other’s toenails, streaking each other’s hair and then making phone calls to boys while squealing. Because I’m quite sure Bieber is still prepubescent and more importantly, a girl.