Lindsay Lohan, the porn star

These are the posters Lindsay Lohan’s friend Tyler Shields created for Inferno in the hope that the movie will be one day produced and shown to theaters across the nation, which is pretty funny considering that this is one that will never see the light of day.

Which means you just lost your one chance to gaze into Lindsay’s gigantic afro bush the color of fire (we’re experts when it comes to period pieces. We can actually tell you what Marie Antoinette’s crotch would have looked like in the 18th century).

Having said that, the posters are disappointing because instead of that 70′s fire-bush threatening to eat your face, we get Lindsay Lohan sucking on her finger like she always does when she’s looking for coke but the only thing in the bathroom is a bottle of Lysol. Stick to the essentials of the period, Tyler Shields!