Lindsay Lohan Would Die Without an Entourage

For Lindsay Lohan, the worst part of her upcoming jail-time isn’t the bathroom dyke sex or having to eat gruel every day… it’s being alone. Apparently she can’t stand it. And apparently she doesn’t understand that no one else can really stand her.

Lindsay is apparently climbing the walls because of the prospect of jail (it’s sad that at this point it’s just a “prospect”) . Lindsay’s like a small, retarded puppy: she doesn’t like small spaces and she doesn’t like to be alone. When she flew from Paris to Los Angeles a month ago, she paid for a friend to come with her just so she wouldn’t be alone.

That’s just silly. We would’ve gone just for a few sloppy blowjobs, Linds.