Paris Hilton and her Sister Nikki Doing Bikini Related Things in Hawaii

Marine biologists will be reporting a new, hybrid species of crab on Wailea Beach very soon. Because the Hilton sisters have invaded Hawaii with their ugliness (along with Paris’s douchebag ape of a boyfriend, Cy Waits, who incidentally has bigger tits than both the Hilton sisters put together). Well, I maybe wouldn’t say Paris and Nikki are ugly. I’d just say I don’t want to catch Herpes.

Paris’s ability to land guys has certainly taken a post-pokey downturn, hasn’t it? From the hunky spawn of the richest European families to someone who looks like the type of douche who picks drunken fights with immigrant clerks in AMPM stores over the poor choice of jerky available. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer skank.