Sofia Vergara's Golden Globes

God bless you Golden Globes, God bless you. Not only do you come around every year with your hot celebrities sticking their boobies into tight dresses, but you also have such a wonderfully puntastic name that allows us to use silly yet simple titles like the one to this post. And who is more worthy of a titty pun than Modern Family star Sofia Vergara, who’s got the most golden of all gigantic golden globes.

Is it just me or every time I see Sofia in a dress/bikini/t-shirt/blouse/NASA EMU space suit, I imagine her top half being like a can of worms. If you unclasped her bra, her breasts would explode out with so much force that her nipple would be likely to poke you in the eye and temporarily blind you. You’d need one of those welder’s masks just to get her naked.