Taylor Swift & Jake Gyllenhaal Broke Up… Well That Didn't Last Long
SHOCK… HORROR! Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal have broken up, after dating for about 17 minutes. Well in reality you have “to be” before you can “be over.” This was a fauxmance from the start. What “is over” is the “release of her album” and the “release of his movie.” Thus, the PR stunt has now outlived its usefulness. Even better Pass-Around-Patty comes away with more songwriting material to to grace us all with and Jake gets a whole bunch of heterosexual publicity. Win win.
Speaking of a win, we were nice enough to write Taylor Swift a song last month exactly for this occasion!!!
But we realise that as awesome as that song was it’s more along the lines of Jake breaking her heart, which really doesn’t happen in a PR relationship. So Taylor, just for you, we wrote you another number 1 hit!!!
I’m Fakey Breaky Hearted
I had a fake romance
With pictures by a fountain
Together we looked weird
And then there’s Brokeback Mountain
But I’ve released my record
And they’ve premiered his pic
And all the People photos
Were enough to make you sick
So its time to end the joke
And pretend that we have parted
But first lets make more cash
By singing “I’m Fakey Breaky Hearted”
…………………………………SECOND GRAMMY PLEASE!!!