With no Jenny McCarthy boobs to distract him, Jim Carrey takes on…Elin Nordegren

Apparently because weird men are also weird in how they handle their break-ups, Jim Carrey decided to assault Elin Nordegren and kick her in her Nordic ass for basically allowing Tiger Woods to cheat 1,000 times, as some sort of therapy for getting over Jenny McCarthy’s breasts. Which is unfortunate. Having said that, let’s focus on what’s important in this whole story, which is of course the fact that Jenny McCarthy was into sex groups. Not entirely sure what that means exactly, but pretty sure it entails oodles of fun. Any chance we can get a street address and meeting times, Jim?

Here’s how it all went down:

@JimCarrey. No wife is blind enough to miss that much infidelity. Elin had 2 b a willing participant on the ride 4 whatever reason. kids/lifestyle ;^)

One of the negative responses to his Tweet:

@eyssogreen Who r u to attack Tiger Wood’s innocent wife Elin? YOU CREEP!!Jenny mightve been INTO SEX groups. Elin was home w. her babes.

@JimCarrey.  That’s a cop out Gail. No woman just stays at home with the kids anymore. Tiger was wrong and Elin was ignoring the obvious ;^)

“I want 2 make it CLEAR that I do not condone infidelity at all, but 2 some degree the responsibilty 4 it is shared by both people! ;^)”

On why carrying the Pinochio gene stopped him from cheating on Jenny McCarthy:

“In any event, infidelity has never been an issue 4 me. If I tried to keep a secret like that, I would grow a tumor and devil horns! }:^<- ”

On being date-raped by Ben Roethlisberger:

“My people called and said I might have to tame my tweets a little.” “So here goes…I’m going to make a sandwich now. peanut butter.(sigh) ;^\”

“Well, I ate my inoffensive sandwich with an acceptable glass of milk and took the dogs out, while avoiding any controversial thought,” he tweeted, “…then I was sexually assaulted by Ben Roethlisberger! I can’t be certain but it sure looked like him! Good thing I’m a Steelers fan! ;^B”