Ending a relationship is hard. You were not only ending the romantic relationship between two people, many other relationships are caught in the crossfire her. In a long-term relationship you get to know each other’s families and friends and can become quite close.
Losing those relationships can be difficult and you may not want to distance yourself from every person that you met through your ex partner. Can you maintain a relationship with your exes family? It can be done but you need to follow a few ground rules to make it work without any awkwardness.
Circumstances Behind the Breakup
After the break up, you may be afraid to reach out to your exes family whom you were very close to. Depending upon the circumstances of your breakup, you may be able to continue having a friendship with your ex partner’s parents or siblings if it didn’t end too badly.
Each situation is different, if you were caught cheating on your partner you may need to give him space to his family for a while as that is definitely you’re at fault situation and they may not want to speak to you. If it was amicable and it just didn’t work out because you’re different people than there is no reason you can’t maintain a relationship with his family.
If you do decide to call say your ex boyfriend’s mother just to catch up and have lunch, make sure that in the front of your mind you understand completely that this is your ex-boyfriend’s mother. Even though she may be your friend you have to remember that your ex is her son and he will always come first. Because of this you were going to want to trade water lightly and keep topics light and remember to never trash her son no matter what he did to you.
If she asks you how you were doing you can answer her but don’t bring up things like he owes you 50 bucks or you started seeing someone new who is so much better than he was. This will just make you look spiteful and paint you in a negative light. If she wants to talk about it that’s fine just be mindful of the words coming out of your mouth.
No Details About a New Relationship
Remember most likely if you are this close that his family is feeling just as sad as you are about your relationship ending. They like to you they were hoping you were going to marry him and be a part of the family. Because of this you want to be sensitive when speaking of a new person that you are dating. It is best not to bring up any new relationship until the old one has been over at least six months. If you feel like telling his family that you are seeing someone new at this point, you have at least given the respect of an appropriate waiting period.
You don’t have to go into huge details and say how much better this new guy is then your ex, just tell them you are dating, and that is all. Go back to talking about other things in your life that are more interesting like your job or a vacation coming up. It is as awkward for them to hear it as it is for you to say it.
Don’t Ask Probing Questions
Finally as curious as you are about how your ex is doing and if they are dating anyone, keep your probing questions to yourself. If you want to maintain this relationship don’t use his parents or siblings as spies to find out what your ex is doing now. If you’re that curious ask him yourself. If you follow these basic boundaries you should be able to easily maintain a relationship that is important to you.