We must have died and gone to heaven…or heaven on earth, which is a backstage toilet seat at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley showed up at the Collaborating For A Cure Dinner last night and got noticed. Sure, with face and body like that, it’s not hard, but her exposed boob assured maximal attention.

Well what words can be written that these photos can’t better describe. Another year, another Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and as sure as this recession means shitty Christmas gifts this year, if any at all, these photos should bring bring a nice ‘load’ of Christmas cheer to all with a dangling mistletoe.

Here’s Hayden Panettiere giving fellatio to a weapon for Tyler Shields new book “The Dirty Side of Glamour,” and aside from the news that giving inanimate objects a BJ is one of her hobbies, we think this is pretty patriotic. After all, what’s better than giving a little perk-me-up to the people AND objects who are there to serve and protect you?Hayden, you’re a great American!

Here’s Pamela Anderson without her arsenal of concealer, base, font de teint, powder, blush, false eye lashes, mascara, liquid eyeliner, eye brow pencil, eye shadow, bronzer and of course old-hag friendly camera flash (our knowledge of female weapons of deceit were obtained through true manly means, aka, have banged a make-up artist who was really committed to her work) trying to spread chaos and panic to her local supermarket in Malibu. Next time we need a warning so we can put our night vision goggles on. That way we’re at least mentally prepared about entering into a war zone…

Photos: Pacific Coast News

London, England (CNS) – Amy Winehouse has been taken to the hospital yet again, but this time, it’s apparently because of a leaked boob job. The “Rehab” songstress’ father Mitch has hinted that his daughter recently went to a hospital after having problem with her enhanced breasts.

He said on his “Mitch Winehouse’s Showbiz Rant” show while pointing to his chest, “I can’t say why she went into hospital, but it wasn’t because she had a cold. She’s fine, she just had a little leaky something or other.”

U.K.’s Daily Mirror also quotes a friend of the singer that Winehouse saw something “oozing out of her top.”

But despite the difficulties with her implants, which reportedly cost around $58,000, she still plans to have another operation on other parts of her body. She is allegedly aiming for a “dream pin-up” look.

Photos: Splash News

Here’s Brittany Murphy and her husband British screenwriter Simon Monjack giving travellers bad gas at LAX on Tuesday as they try to smother an innocent poodle by sandwiching it against Simon’s hairy man boobs. This gag reflex-producing PDA came complete with Simon’s hairy ass crack…because what good is it to gag if you can’t expel everything on shiny airport tiles?

Seriously? What is wrong with Brittany Murphy that she was compelled to elope with a gorilla and give him an American Visa (he was almost deported in 2007 due to an expired visa – their wedding followed suit a month later)? Hey, we can say “Cheerio there, chap” pretty convincingly if this is what’s getting her panties wet…and our plumber’s ass crack is seriously sexy…especially with that bushy trail mix running down from our neck…

At this point, we would like to bow to PETA for its magic powers at turning every airhead whose definition of biggest crisis on the planet is when their photo shoot happens to be scheduled a day before their brazilian wax appointment into a concerned citizen of the world and a freedom fighter of things with sharp teeth and a fur on their back.

Just in case you are not too familiar with their latest bimbo-turned-crusader, here’s Keeley Hazell’s remarkable resume (currently #5 on FMH’s Sexiest Women in the World List):

Here’s Megan Fox in a few more crotch-spreading shots courtesy of “it was about time we jumped the shark” NY Times, and honestly, if her vertical split wasn’t so breathtaking we wouldn’t have bothered (mainly because 1960’s cheerleader soft porn is not our thing). And ofcourse since every erection-yielding moment is bound to be spoiled by Megan opening her mouth, why mess up with the pattern? Here she is talking about her being a sacrificial lamb and in a nutshell how good she is at making up lies about everything. So you mean to say that bit about struggling an ox just to have sex with Olivia Wilde was mere fabrication? We spanked the monkey based on a lie? We want our money back…or at least that warm, sunny afternoon we spent indoors…

“I’ve learned that being a celebrity is like being a sacrificial lamb.”
“At some point, no matter how high the pedestal that they put you on, they”re going to tear you down. And I created a character as an offering for the sacrifice. I’m not willing to give my true self up. It’s a testament to my real personality that I would go so far as to make up another personality… The reality is, I am hidden amongst all the insanity. Nobody can find me,” she added.

Claire Danes, once again forgot that at movie premieres (here in London) there’s such a thing called a flash and ended up exposing her sad 32AAAA puppies. Not that we blame her though…when your cleavage is like a valley with two bushes burnt down by a forest fire and makes us yern for fleshy man boobs when looking at it (no we didn’t just say that?), one can understand that stuffing a bra with two rolls of toilet paper just to get to 32AA would prove to be too much to bother. Soy milk Claire? We hear it did wonders for Jeremy Pivens and his man boobs.

Donald Trump has his hands full these days with horny little girls who want to bring world peace by singing Kumbaya with their coochies. Bust out the pigeons everyone! Afganistan, are you feeling the warmth?

To explain, Hiroko Mima, who was crowned Miss Universe Japan 2008, and Anya Ayoung-Chee, who was crowned Miss Universe 2008 of Trinidad and Tobago 2008, are now in the middle a scandal threatening to overshadow Carrie Prejean and her hopes to make it big with Vivid Entertainment after a sex tape leaked allegedly showing Hiroko and Anya together having sex with Anya’s boyfriend Wyatt Gallery, and ofcourse, with each other.

A rep from the Miss Universe pageant responded to the scandal surrounding the Miss Universe contestants with the following statement:

“This was apparently eight months after the pageant and neither were the reigning titleholder.”

“The photographer is NOT a Miss Universe staffer so we have nothing to say or any involvement, thank goodness.”