When in the throes of love, a blinding spell over takes you and makes it impossible to accept someone’s obvious faults. Well you can see them, it just doesn’t register on the radar as a problem. Sometimes they can be so big that everyone else in your life sees them, but you. Possessiveness and obsession can be mistaken for love in many cases and it can reach a dangerous level fairly quickly. In general as blinding as it is to the person in the toxic relationship, is as obvious as it is to everyone else. That’s what makes It such a strange phenomenon. What makes a person accept treatment, standards and behavior that they normally find deplorable? Emotional abuse in a relationship can be just as damaging as physical abuse. The constant put downs, jealousy, anxiety and distrust can lead to the victim hurting themselves.
A Slippery Slope of Terror
The abusive person generally is a master at his craft. He is a snake in the grass, being silent until the opportunity presents itself to strike. You may not see it right away but there are always signs that clearly outline what’s to come. At the beginning of a relationship, a lot of behaviors can be misinterpreted as one time instances or as something you don’t see as maltreatment. In many cases abused women and even men, have been so abused by everyone in their lives so long that they can’t tell the difference in what is normal behavior and what is not. Some people are mistaken that abuse only occurs if you are struck directly by another. That is generally further down in the relationship as no one can call you a bitch and other names around right away and get away with it can they? So what types of signs can you look for early on in the relationship that scream “get out” before you are too emotionally invested to easily leave?
Can You See it Coming?
Very early Signs of a Potentially Abusive Partner
During the early stages of dating, an abuser will generally be quite good at hiding their flaws, but it comes out in how they treat and speak about others. Are they extremely negative about their past? Place blame? Do they have a hard time accepting responsibility for things they have done in the past? For example how do they speak about prior relationships? Is that person always to blame for the break up or do they talk very poorly about their exes? Everyone talks smack about ex relationships, it depends on how far it goes and how often. Have you caught them looking at your phone or accusing you of things you didn’t possibly do? Do they have a superiority complex and think that the world revolves around them and their needs? Do they get angry about the little things? Are there a lot of broken items laying around the house that can not be explained?
Emotional abuse is more subtle and not as obvious as being smacked around. Being confused or walking on eggshells and always feeling like you have to be perfect out of fear of someone rolling their eyes, inspecting if you did everything correctly and picking things apart. Psychological abuse is when one person tries to control another person’s sense of reality and what their beliefs are. Someone very skilled at abuse can “gaslight” their victim. They will make them doubt their own memory and recollection of events. They grill them like a cop talking to a perpetrator. They ask in different ways the same questions to try to get a slightly different story until the victim doubts their own reality.
Using Love as a Weapon
Love is a also magic word used to control the victim. Using the line “ I l