Joe Simpson Arrested for DUI!

Joe Simpson (better known as the father of Jessica Simpson) was arrested for DUI in Los Angeles on August 4. The 54-year-old was pulled over around 10 PM on Ventura Blvd in Sherman Oaks. Cops suspected Joe had been drinking, so they handcuffed him and sent him straight to jail. He ended up spending the entire night in jail and was released the next day. Since it’s Joe’s first offense, he will probably not be spending anymore time behind bars. However, he will probably be getting fined and he’ll have to explain this whole thing to Jessica…which just might be worse than jail.

Joe Simpson is basically like a slightly less annoying version of Michael Lohan (Lindsay Lohan’s Dad) –which means he cannot survive without his daughter’s success. We all know that Jessica Simpson will be the one paying his fine and she’ll probably have to pay for his impending stint in rehab. She doesn’t have money to be wasting on him! She is spending all her money on losing that baby weight. Jessica is probably spending $1,000 a week on organic smoothies and protein shakes. She has to be smart with money from now on; lord knows she won’t be getting cast as Daisy Duke anymore. Unless, of course, they can find someway to fit her fatness into the storyline.

They can call her ‘Daisy Sweatpants’ — yeah that’ll work.