Kris Humphries Sued For Allegedly Giving A Woman Herpes!

It’s always nice to hear a good story about herpes, especially when you are not involved in the story. Kris Humphries (ex-husband of Kim Kardashian) allegedly gave a woman herpes a year before getting married to Kim Kardashian. The lady is now suing Kris Humphries for giving her herpes! Is that not the funniest thing you have heard all day?

The lawsuit for sexual battery is being filed by Kayla Goldberg. She claims that she met Kris at The Newsroom Café in Los Angeles on August 31, 2010 and that the two did the nasty with no protection in his hotel room,

“During their interactions Humphries also performed oral sex on Goldberg…Defendant Humphries did not at any time inform Plaintiff that he was infected with the incurable venereal disease, Herpes Simplex Virus” the court document states.

She claims that she started to develop symptoms of herpes about 4-5 days after their wild night. The symptoms included sore throat, fever, body aches, extreme pain, extreme vaginal irritation, painful lesions on her genitalia and probably a bad case of embarrassment. She is seeking unspecified damages and is hoping for a jury trial.

You know, most days I hate my job, but then I see stories like this and can’t help but love my job. It’s always fun to read “naughty” things in court documents. It’s kind of how I would imagine Larry King to write about his sexual adventures.

“I took this lady home late one Saturday night; I’d say it was around 7:53 pm. She told me she loved my suspenders, and then proceeded to press her wet lips against mine. We decided to move our ‘interactions’ to the poorly lit bedroom. She threw my fragile body down on the bed and started to unbutton my well-ironed slacks, ripped off my Depends and performed oral sex on me. It was magical, I tell ya, magical!”