Gordon Ramsay Sex Tape? NOOOOO!

Oh, bloody hell. You may remember Sarah Symonds, the mistress who had an affair with Gordon and even wrote a book about the whole thing. Well, the Metropolitan Police recently contacted her following their investigation into the News Of The World phone hacking scandal.

It turns out that the police found “sensitive” information on Gordon and his mistress. “They found sensitive information on Gordon and me, including tapes, and transcripts of our personal meetings towards the end of our affair in 2008, and intimate phone conversations and voice mails.” Symonds told Star magazine.

But, wait! There is more…

“I know from a source that there is a sex tape, too. I wonder if the police have found it though, and if so what happens to it? I am desperately trying to find out.” Symonds said.

Whaaaat? A Gordon Ramsay sex tape? Come on, really? Just the thought of that makes me want to stuff my head into a Shepherd’s Pie! Just imagine, his pale, naked body filling up your computer screen in HD. And you know that this sex tape includes food. You can’t have sex with a chef and not eat at some point during the love making. They probably both were licking steaming hot lamb stew off each other…gross.

I hope the police shot that tape.