Monday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like for 1/16/12

Hi there and Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, my wonderful, faithful, avid readers! … Just kidding… Well, not really. I truly hope I have some fans out there somewhere. Anyway, enough about my ego, let’s get to Monday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like!

OMFG!!! This is so damn funny! Only because I cannot stand the guy, though. Kermit the Kasey Kahl was arrested in Fresno, Cali at a nightclub called Club Habanos. No one’s quite sure why he was arrested, though I wouldn’t doubt if it involved him annoying someone. He seems to be quite good at that. He was chaffered in the back of a copper’s car to the booking station where he — according to TMZ — ‘took one of the prettiest mug shots we’ve ever seen.’ Yeah… The Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad ‘star’ had just recently wrapped up taping VH1′s Relationship Rehab with ex-bitch– I meeeeeean, ex-girlfriend, Vienna. Yup… Can’t WAIT to see that show…

As we heard from my buddy Zach earlier today, Ricky Gervais produced a big, fat FAIL as host of the Golden Globes last night. But, it seems that’s not the only thing he failed at. Kim Kardashian, whom Ricky called a cheaper version of Kate Middleton, didn’t think much of the jokes he shot in her direction. And by that I mean that she thought they were actually quite funny. Hmm… I don’t think that’s what he was aiming for when he referenced her 72 day marriage to Kris Humphries and  said he’s sat through longer James Cameron acceptance speeches. Yup… FAIL!!!

Madonna stepped on Jessica Biel’s shitty dress while wearing her shitty dress… Who-Cares! If you got a chance to see my Golden Globe Red Carpet Edition of The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly, then you would have seen that both Madonna and Jessica Biel got listed under Bad and Fugly! Both of their dresses were different levels of atrocious, so who really gives a who-ha if Madonna stepped on Jessica’s dress? I sure as hell don’t; they should both be burned in my opinion…. (Um, I was talking about the dresses, by the way. Just so you know…)

In other Madge news: Elton John and hubby David Furnish are a wee bit peeved at the superstar. After Madonna was announced as the Golden Globe winner for Best Original Song, David Furnish went on the rampage! Blasting Madonna of Facebook, he started off with ‘Madonna. Best song???? F**k off!!!’ Then, he went on to say, ‘Madonna winning Best Original Song truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in it’s narcissism. And her critisism of Gaga shows how desperate she really is.’ Wayull… I might be stepping out on a limb here, but I think Elton and hubs may have cleared a shelf in their trophy room. Even Elton John himself said that Madonna had no ‘fuckin’ chance’ of winning the award. Wow… how embarrassingly sad…

And, finally, Lil Kim shook her butt. Wow… that’s really newsworthy, isn’t it? Like, I cannot even believe that’s being put on news sites. ‘Lil’ Kim Drops it Like it’s Hot at a Movie Theater in Tampa’ So-freakin-what!!! Sorry, I know that technically I’m now writing about the same stupid story they did, but sometimes things are just so stupid — or they piss me off so badly — that I cannot help but share them with you guys. Until tomorrow, my fellow Fixers!