Dumbest Criminials

He had a real sweet tooth. Cops say they found 22-year-old Andrew Toothman lying down inside Kentucky Food World IGA market on Feb. 2, completely covered in chocolate and peanut butter. He'd also allegedly written "Sorry" in NyQuil on the floor.

Rogue cuddler Agustin Sanchez allegedly snuck into his ex-girlfriend's home and crawled into bed with her for a snuggle. The spooning attempt was thwarted, however, when the woman notified police.

Timothy Clark probably didn't think his plan through when he allegedly shoplifted from a Wal-Mart at the same time that police were holding their "Shop With A Cop" charity event.

Oneal Morris is accused of posing as a doctor and filling a women's buttocks with cement, mineral oil and flat-tire sealant. The woman wanted to work at a nightclub and searched for someone who could perform plastic surgery at a cheap price to give her a curvier body. Police say Oneal was was born a man but identifies as a woman.

Police in Illinois say that Olivia Ornelas blamed her DUI and crashed vehicle on her boyfriend's failure to take her, as he promised, to the new "Twilight" movie.

Authorities in Georgia found Ranaldo Jack stuck in a woman's chimney. He was charged in connection with an attempted burglary.

Marsia Emanuel allegedly flagged a school bus in Winter Haven, Fla., boarded and beat the bus driver in front of her daughter, a student riding it already. Cops found Emanuel later at home where she dropped her underpants in front of them, they said. It's unclear what was her motive.

Investigators in California are trying to track down a man who robbed a bank armed with pesticide. The suspect appeared to be carrying a black semi-automatic handgun and a plastic container of pesticide when he held up the Pacific Western Bank in Rancho Santa Fe on Nov. 4, 2011.

Police in Florida arrested Karen Henry, 45, after she allegedly threatened her 80-year-old father with a knife for not sharing his potato salad.

This camouflage might work well in nature, but it really stands out in the police station. Oregon investigators believe Gregory Liascos, 36, was wearing this "ghillie" camouflage when he attempted to break into the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals last week. After setting off alarms, the suspect allegedly fled into a wooded area nearby. Officers only found Liascos when a police dog bit what appeared to be a patch of grass -- which yelped in pain. On Oct. 12, 2011, authorities said Liascos failed to show up for his trial. A warrant has been issued for his arrest.

Sheriff's deputies in Pinal County, Ariz., say Albert Tejeda's unique tattoos -- and his lengthy rap sheet -- leave him with a face they'll never forget. After Tejeda allegedly fled during a traffic stop, deputies claim they knew exactly who they were looking for and later found the 31-year-old walking around Casa Grande with a samurai sword.

Even if Juan Aguirre got away, he would have ended up empty handed. Police said the 21-year-old Kansas stole six empty DVD boxes from a local adult entertainment shop.

Josephine Smith is seen in this booking photo from the Pinellas County Jail. Smith was arrested after allegedly attacking and biting a piece of skin off a homeless man in St. Petersburg after proclaiming "I am a vampire, I am going to eat you".

Edwin Tobergta, 32, is seen in this booking photo from the Butler County Sheriff's Office. Tobergta was arrested after allegedly having sex with an inflatable pool raft.

It's not easy to be the most most memorable visitor when thousands of NASCAR fans come to town, but West Virginia's Joshua Greene made a pretty good run for that honor when police caught the streaking 27-year-old with a raccoon in his car.

We're not saying there's guilt written all over his face, but Ismael Ambrosio is seen in this Aug. 9 booking photo from the Pinellas County (Fla.) Jail with a facial tattoo that could not have pleased police officers.

The hand of justice makes an appearance in this mug shot. Nichlous Peternik -- and the arm of a law enforcement official in Redding, Calif. -- are featured prominently in this memorable booking photo taken after Peternik was arrested on suspicion of burglary. Officials say they were forced to reach into the frame when Peternik refused to pull his hair back from over his face.

An Australian man caught driving a motorized cooler box through a beachside resort town appeared in court charged with drunk driving, The Courier Mail reported Monday. Christopher Ian Petrie, 23, faces charges of driving under the influence and driving without a license after police caught him on the makeshift vehicle, which was powered by a 50cc engine.

Former Miss El Paso USA Lorena Tavera was arrested for allegedly shoplifting a $69 shirt in El Paso.

Cory Smits, 29, is seen in this booking photo from the Manitowoc County Sheriff's Department. Smits was found guilty July 7 on his fifth offense of operating a vehicle while intoxicated.

This booking photo from the Shasta County Sheriff's Office in California shows Patrick Francis Brooks and his obscene tattoo after his July 11 arrest on charges of burglary, receiving stolen property, forgery and violating the terms of his parole for a previous conviction.

Mark Anthony Richardson Jr. wore diapers and faked being autistic to get women to babysit him. He was sentenced to three years in prison in July 2011 for groping an 18-year-old daughter of one of the conned nannies.

Levon T. Sarkisyan, allegedly broke into a Connecticut home and smashed statues and furniture, because he claimed God told him to do it, according to police.

Police in Phoenix, Ariz., have accused Randon Reid of the crime of flight -- and a crime against flight. Investigators say the 26-year-old suspect opened fire on an airplane parked at Deer Valley Airport, then fled from authorities who tried to pull him over. He has reportedly been charged with felony flight and driving under the influence.

Holy handcuffs! Police in a smog-clotted town in northwest Michigan are touting the arrest of Batman. The legendary caped crusader was reportedly nabbed while dangling from a 30-foot-high building. The unmasked superhero wannabe is actually a local resident named Mark Wayne Williams.

Some people have guilt written all over their faces, and others, like assault suspect Robert Norton Kennedy, have apologies tattooed across their foreheads. A booking photo released by the authorities in Horry County, S.C., appears to show the 51-year-old sporting a facial tattoo that reads: "Please forgive me if I say or do anything stupid. Thank You!"

They say the clothes make the man, but in this case, the clothes make it easy for police to identify the man. Cops in Charlotte, N.C., busted home invasion suspect Jonathan Huntley after he allegedly left a t-shirt featuring his own mug shot at the crime scene. The shirt, pictured on the right, showcases an old booking photo.

A South Carolina man who twice pleaded guilty to having sex with a horse has been released from prison and put on probation, under the condition that he keep his distance from the horse. Rodell Vereen, pictured in this file photo, was released from prison after serving 16 months.

It was almost a kiss of death. Deputies in Florida say 92-year-old Helen Staudinger opened fire on her neighbor's house after the much younger resident refused to give her a kiss. Investigators at the Marion County Sheriff's Office claim Staudinger refused to leave 53-year-old Dwight Bettner unless her neighbor gave her a kiss. She allegedly returned with a gun.

It's always best to practice what you preach. Police in Florida say they arrested the former president of a local chapter of Mother's Against Drunk Driving for driving under the influence. Debra Oberlin has been charged with drunk driving for the Feb. 18 incident.

Police in Michigan say a man claimed he was royalty before trying to steal a pack of Marlboros from a 7-Eleven. Joseph Lawrence Borowiak is charged with strong-arm robbery and resisting arrest after allegedly wrestling a store clerk over a pack of cigarettes. Borowiak reportedly stated, "The king doesn't pay for cigarettes."

Jerome Smith's forehead says he's a "Genius," but police say he wasn't being smart when he allegedly struck a pregnant woman with a handgun. The Cincinnati, Ohio, resident is accused of repeatedly pistol-whipping a woman who was eight months pregnant in late January.

When police caught 87-year-old Leo Earl Sharp allegedly transporting 228 pounds of cocaine, the suspect told them that he was forced "at gunpoint" to transport the drugs.

Andrei Bibbs, 54, of the 3000 block of Coopers Grove Court, was arrested Jan. 7 Illinois State Police and charged with driving while under the influence of alcohol. He was clearly shocked by the change.