Snooki is Pregnant and Armed with a Knife!

You should all know by now that Snooki is pregnant. It was the biggest news to hit Hollywood since Andy Dick was arrested for sexual abuse. Anyway, apparently Snooki is having a hard time handling her pregnancy. She was home alone yesterday and spent her day sending out tweets and pictures. “Waiting for my golfer hubby to get home! I miss u =(“ one tweet read.

Also, she tweeted a picture of herself and attached a very threatening message, “Preggers power. I’ll cut a bitch if you mess w my baby!” Ah, yes! That will have everyone shaking in their boots, except not really. Why would I be afraid of someone who is too lazy to type out, ‘”with”? Plus, I am sure that Snooki doesn’t even know how to use a knife.

And even if she ever did “cut a bitch” it wouldn’t be that hard to prove that she did it. Just look for the spray tan stains on the handle of the knife. Then, you would have it narrowed down to someone on the Jersey Shore. After that, just get her to confess by offering her some cheese puffs and pickle juice.