Rave: The Internet

Ah, the internet. The magical land where anything is possible and almost nothing is off limits. It’s the magical land where you can be naked, wet and smelly while conducting a business meeting. In fact, it’s probably safe to assume that anyone you are talking to online is naked, wet and smelly. As I write this very article I am…okay I am not naked. However, I do smell a bit.

The land the internet sits on is a very spacious piece of land. I’ve been searching the land for years now and I still haven’t uncovered it all, everyday I find something new. Sure, sometimes I find stuff that I didn’t really want to find. For example, that one day when I came across two girls and one little cup. Some of you “noobs, n00bs, newbies” might be thinking; “Well gee, two girls and a cup? That doesn’t sound so bad.” True. But spending time with your family doesn’t sound so bad either, until you actually do it.

Speaking of family. The internet is a great place to get away from your family. You could start an anonymous blog and call your fat uncle all sorts of names and he would never know about it! He could even read your blog and think; “This person really hates their uncle! How hilarious.” But, he would never know it was you! It’d make you an unintentional troll.

Yeah, I said it…troll. You didn’t think that a magical land could be without trolls, did you? You cannot avoid trolls. A troll has one simple goal: to get a reaction. They will say and do the most outlandish things until you breakdown and say; “F UUUUU TROLL!!!!” Emotional outbursts keep trolls alive and no matter how hard you try to ignore them — you will eventually break down.

This magical land can turn a ginger with no soul into a celebrity overnight. This magical land can start marriages and can choke slam the hell out of them. This magical land can make you a millionaire, or can empty your pockets faster than a hot date. This magical land has no fences, no rules and no shame.

This magical land is full of possibilities. It’s the last place on earth where an individual has the freedom to better their life, or f**k it up royally.

This magical land is the internet.