J-Woww and Snooki have went through hell trying to find a locale in Jersey for their show — not because they didn’t like any of the cities, but because no city in Jersey wanted to take them. But, they emerged victorious finally when Jersey City gave the green light for filming.

But! And this is a very big But! Jersey City has laid out some BIG rules for Snooki and her crew… some rules that seem a bit strict and unfair, honestly. TMZ reported the following on the stipulations that have been laid out for Snooki, J-Woww, and their filming crew:

’1) The show must allow at least four Jersey City PD officers to be stationed at Jwoww and Snooki’s home at all times.

2) The cops will stay with the cast and crew when they leave the home. Cops have agreed to keep an appropriate distance from the operation, so they don’t get in the way of production.

3) If MORE cops are called in to handle an incident due to events related to the show, producers MUST reimburse Jersey City for all related costs.

Officials have also made it clear … cops are taking the situation very seriously and will take action … even on the cast … if any state or city laws are broken.

Ultimately, producers agreed … and got the permit. Production is scheduled to begin later this month.’

Dear Shae, How can I get my mom to treat me like an adult?

I’m 43 years old and she still trips on me when I come home past midnight. I shouldn’t have a curfew at this age homie. She is also constantly nagging at me to find a “real” job. I have a real job, I work for Subway as a sign twirler on Saturdays and every other Sunday. I twirl in Hollywood so I’m on the street where I get seen by hundreds of people everyday. Maybe one day some big fish will see me and cast me, know what I’m sayin?  During the week I go to auditions because that is my dream to become an actor and have my own show one day.  Sign twirlin in Hollywood, auditions, and clubbing are all stepping stones to my dream. Everytime I get a gig as an extra, I am that much closer to superstardom. Please help me tell my mom that she should lay off me a bit. I need the money I make so I can get to my auditions and use the little extra for when I go out to the clubs. You know what I’m sayin? Our house is paid for, so I don’t think it’s fair of her to demand rent when she knows I need every penny I earn. She also says I should chip in for the groceries since she’s buying and cooking the food that I like. I’m not a picky eater and I will eat whatevers so, anyways, she can just buy what she normally does because I eat the same food too.  Please give me a way to ask her to back off and let me concentrate on finding my star! Thanks in advance

 - Christopher H.

Dear Christopher H,

Does the H stand for ‘Homie’? Seriously? So let me get this straight, you’re 43, living at home, mom still making you meals, cleaning up after you, shopping for you, etc…I’m assuming rent free because you need your $480/mo (based on $10/hr x 4 (8hr Saturdays) + 2 (8hr Sundays) = Swagger for the clubs and bus pass) Am I right so far? I’m assuming $10 bucks an hours because that’s what the sign ninja by my house makes twirling for El Pollo Loco. Anyways, I’m calculating the maximum cash money amount, according to the data you’ve given.

Ok winner, so based on everything above,  let’s clarify the issues. Your mom has given you a 12 o’clock curfew, nags at you to get a real job so that you can contribute and help her out a little financially. Is she asking for your entire paycheck? Or just a little here and there to replace the toilet paper surplus she used up to wipe your ass? Look, I’m all for following your dreams but it sounds like you need a little less dreaming and a lot more reality in your life. Be thankful she is allowing you to live rent free in her home, making your meals, washing your Subway uniform and everything inbetween. What does your wife/girlfriend have to say about all this? I’m sure you’re not single with all that swagger you bring to the table.

Maybe you should work Monday through Friday and do the acting thing on the weekend.  If an audition should fall on a weekday, ask for that day off. Seriously, pay attention to this last bit of advice. If you want your mom to treat you like an adult, act like one.

Have a questions you’d like Shae to answer?

The report shows that Nick Diaz tested positive for marijuana metabolites following his UFC 143 fight against Carlos Condit. Diaz will now have to pay the consequences and many people think it will likely be a one year suspension from professional fighting.

That is a big price to pay for some marijuana. At least he could have gone out with a bang and pumped himself up with heroin. But, a one year suspension because of marijuana? I am sure he is kicking himself now. A little marijuana was surely not worth all of this. He has to think about his fans, as well. Not only has he disappointed himself, but he has disappointed a lot of MMA fans, too. Obviously he hasn’t learned that much since this is his second time testing positive for marijuana.

He will have a whole year to think about it…

Unbelievably, Hershey’s ample bust acted as their very own air bags, preventing the rest of her body from being injured. But, even though she survived such an unbelievable crash unscathed, all is not well in Hershey’s world. She was promptly taken to the police station where she was booked on DUI charges.

But, nevertheless, this incident will give all men an ace in the hole. How is that? Well, now you’ll have a justifiable reason for your woman to up their bust size: ‘But, honey… they could save your life.’

We have all heard the stories of the famous, ‘Loch Ness Monster.’ But, how many people actually believe the stories? We’re willing to bet not many. However, you just might want to think twice before you dismiss this secretive creature.

On Feb. 2, Hjortur Kjerulf filmed what some people believe is Iceland’s Loch Ness Monster swimming in the water of a lake. As you can see from the video above, it does appear that there is some sort of creature swimming in the water. It appears to move in a way you might see a snake move. To the average viewer this might be enough evidence to conclude that this creature is real.

But, Loren Coleman, director of the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine says not so fast. Coleman has studied and written about this creature in his book “Field Guide to Lake Monsters and Sea Serpents” and Coleman has some doubts about this video…

 ”What concerns me the most is the robotic look of this creature. If you look at the head, it appears like somebody’s put a constructed anaconda head there, and behind it, the natural movement of a snake should give much more flowing curve to the sections.

What concerned me immediately was when I saw the tail section moving in unison with the next section; there’s no movement in that one section as it goes side-to-side. A snake moves in a sort of ‘s’ curve. But in this video, you get a blocking of the movement of the creature, which tells us it’s probably very artificial.”

Coleman said on his website that what you see in the video might have been made by the use of “a robot with tarps, fish nets or trash bags.”

Sadly, it looks like this video is another hoax. But, we’d like to believe that somewhere out there the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot are laughing at us.

You can see in the pictures below that she certainly doesn’t look like she did when she was making out with Natalie Portman in, ‘Black Swan.’ We’ve always thought of Mila Kunis as a “natural beauty” and we still do, but these pictures are a little disconcerting. But, it doesn’t matter how gorgeous you are, if you are being followed around with a camera 24/7…there are going to be some bad looking pictures. Even Mila admits that she has her flaws: “My biggest issue is breakouts and how I can prevent myself from breaking out with little, tiny, really tiny, pimples that show up.”

But, all of that doesn’t change the fact that Mila Kunis is an incredibly sexy woman. All this does is prove that even the most beautiful people can look bad. Plus if you saw her working out in the gym, you mean to tell me you wouldn’t still try to hit it? Even without make-up she is still way better looking than that mother of three who keeps winking at you.

We still love you, Mila.

And that twenty million is no joke. Forbes mag reported that Katy Perry raked in a whopping $44 million from May of 2010 to May of 2011. Due to the fact that Katy and Russell’s was a whirlwind romance turned marriage, neither of them thought to draw up that little thing called a prenup. Because of this, Russell is entitled to an astounding twenty million dollars per the community property rights of marriage.

According to a close source, ‘This divorce is as amicable as it gets, and Russell was a mensch (Yiddish for a good person).’ Russell says he doesn’t want a dime from Katy — which is either pretty freakin’ chivalrous… or pretty damn stupid. What do you think?

“Dunk of the Year! @blakegriffin just dunked on Kendrick Perkins so hard!!!! Wow! I guess I’m No. 2 now. Move over #6.”

Perkins didn’t like this tweet and he told Yahoo! Sports why…

“You don’t see Kobe tweeting. You don’t see Michael Jordan tweeting. If you’re an elite player, plays like that don’t excite you. At the end of the day, the guys who are playing for the right reasons who are trying to win championships are not worrying about one play.”

Oh, come on. Michael Jordan is getting pretty old, so I am pretty sure he doesn’t even know how to tweet. And, why can’t LeBron be excited by an amazing play? That doesn’t make any sense, at all. Just because he’s an elite player, he can’t enjoy the game? Give me a break. I mean, I hate LeBron as much as the next guy but not because of this. That tweet actually lessens my hate for him. It’s nice seeing players still enjoying the game.

If LeBron was tweeting about something Kendrick did, Kendrick would have had no problem with it. Kendrick Perkins obviously has developed some emotional issues thanks to that dunk. Maybe he needs some psychiatric help.

Dear Shae, Do you know any good boob jokes?

- Boobman

Dear Boobman,

Thank you so much for this question. Sometimes I fall into a funk of sadness and nothing can cheer me up faster than boobs. Boobs are really all the motivation a man needs. Ladies if you’re reading this, listen carefully. The next time your man is playing video games or being lazy about taking out the trash, stop the nagging and show him some cleavage. Use those beautiful melons like you’re training a puppy and give your man a ”treat”….I promise all parties involved will be happy. Having an arguement with your man? Show him some boob-age and watch him turn into a deer in headlights. I read a survey once and 9 out of 10 men love boobs, the 10th man just loves the other 9 men.

Ok back to you Boobman… Here are some boob jokes for you.  

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

(A} Almost Boobs,  {B} Barely there,  {C} Can’t Complain!  (D) Dang!  (DD) Double Dang!  (F) Fake  (G) Get a Reduction, and  (H)Holy Sh*t!!   

A female officer is arresting a drunk driver. She warns him, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you.”   The drunk replies,  “Boobs.”

<3 Some see this as a heart.  I see it as boobs wearing a party hat.

So… the elephant says to the camel “Why do you have 2 boobs on your back?” The camel replies “That’s a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dlck on his face.”

I knew this girl who wanted bigger boobs, but couldn’t afford proper implants, so she had her uncle make her a false set out of pine!!! Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though, wooden tit?

Alright Boobman hope you enjoyed the jokes. I’ll leave you with a poem as well, in case you’re feeling romantic. Write it down use it for Valentine’s Day.

- Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs.

You can thank me later.

Have a questions you’d like Shae to answer?

“I know that I have balls. I have bigger balls than a lot of men I meet. I’m just a ballsy mother**ker. I’m not afraid of pushing boundaries. That’s what you have to do to become an icon.”  Ke$ha said.

An icon? Slow your roll, Ke$ha. You’ve had a few songs that were popular, for what reason we don’t know. The lyrics make no sense, and the vocals are terrible at best. Of course, one could argue that crappy music is “in” right now and no one knows crappy music like Ke$ha.

Ke$ha was asked if there was a big gap between her actions in real life and her actions on stage (drinking men’s blood and dancing with a giant bouncing penis.)

“I’m just very amused by five year old humor. Don’t get me wrong: I do destroy men on a weekly basis. It’s like a hobby. I’m like a praying mantis. They f**k me, and then I eat them.”

Really? Is that how it goes? What about that picture of you with a pile of man chowder on your chest? If by “eat them” you mean forcefully swallow…then you sure do eat them right up. And, I bet you do destroy the men you have sex with. They probably leave your hotel room with all kinds of diseases; you probably do destroy their sex life.

…yeah Ke$ha you are well on your way to becoming an icon. Congrats.