Hello there, and welcome one and all to my personal bash session! Yes, I am a hateful, spiteful bitch, but at least I’m entertaining right? So, without further yappity-yap, let’s get to bitch bashing on The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly!
The Good — Ah, there is nothing better than a curvy chick in Victoria Secret’s ANYthing! But, it just so happens that Candice Swanepoel looks delectably delish in her 2012 Victoria Secret’s Swimsuit photoshoot… very delish, indeed. I’ve included the entire photoshoot below for your viewing pleasure. And I assure you, viewing it is a pleasure… 😉
The Bad — And this is where things start to get ugly, don’t they? Well, I don’t care, because I’m going to speak the truth. And the truth is… Britney Spears looks like shit!!! It’s not really so much that she looks bad, it’s just that it’s not even HER!!! After this pic came out with her and her ‘second family,’ her business managers and coordinators, she’s gotten rave reviews for her serious, nearly overnight slim-down. Well, I wonder why it seems she’s lost weight overnight… Why, could it be that the body in that picture isn’t even hers!!! Because, it sure looks like a shitty cut and paste job to me. Please, someone correct me here. Because, either that’s her face pasted over a skinny bitch’s body, or they did some SERIOUS photoshopping! She doesn’t even look REAL, for crying out loud!!! Ugh… ugly bitch…
The Fugly — Aaaand here’s where I get downright mean. Why? Because, former Sport’s Illustrated supermodel Valeria Mazza looks like she should be named Venerea… because this bitch looks worse that a coot with a bad case of a venereal disease. I mean… EWWW! Her thighs… gross. Her stomach… nasty. Her boobs… mother fucking disgusting!!! Like, I get that supermodels get older, and hey, she was on the cover of Sport’s Illustrated in 1996! But, she was on that cover with Tyra Banks, and this heifer looks no where NEAR as good as Tyra. This bitch is Straight. Up. FUGLY!!!! Cover that shit up!!!