Hello there, my fellow women lovers! Welcome to The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly!

The Good — Oh, Kelly Brook!!! How I love this chick! Her hotness is like nothing I’ve ever seen! I’ve got her new lingerie shoot for New Look for you in the gallery below, and Oh Boy!!! They – Are – Fan -Friggin’ -Tastic!!! I think you all know me well enough by now to know that I scrutinize women pretty heavily, but I don’t think I’ve seen a picture of this woman — or her outrageous curves — that I don’t damn near drool over! Kelly Brook, you are forever my GOOD!!!

The Bad — And here’s the part of my post where the ‘scrutinizing women pretty heavily’ starts to come in. It surprised me, because Miranda Kerr has struck my hottie meter every single time I see her, but when she showed up for the InStyle Golden Globe party in this Wendy from the Wizard of Oz reject dress… BLAH!!! It’s not only that the dress is atrocious, though. It’s the fact that it makes her usually perky and damn near perfect boobs look saggy and… matronly, for lack of a better word. Why are women starting to wear dresses and bathing suits with a cut like this? It makes their boobs look flat and saggy, so how in the bloody hell is that supposed to be attractive? I’ll give ya a hint — it’s not! It’s BAD!!!

The Fugly — Another shocker for you? Possibly. Possibly not. To me, though, Lindsay Lohan looked like a fat, frizzy headed troll that also happened to have a pretty serious addiction to crack when she showed up for her probation hearing. Sure, she got good remarks for her community service morgue duties (seriously, though, how hard can that be?), but she’s not getting any good marks from me. Honestly, she looked like a pregnant cow… albeit a fuzzy, bleach blond cow… Anyway, the bitch looked Fugly! Point blank, period!

Kel Tells is a spunky and sassy twenty-five year old celebrity blogger who wishes to one day be just like Perez Hilton… because she’s a self-proclaimed bitch, just like he is. Kel is an in-your-face celebrity stalker (oops, I meant blogger) who will speak the truth – even if it is a bit harsh. She has attitude and isn’t afraid to tell it how it is. Kel believes that her readers deserve to know the juicy truth about their favorite and not-so-favorite celebs. She also welcomes comments and criticisms, so make sure and check out her latest posts.

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