Ke$ha recently did a photo shoot for Complex Magazine where she rolled around in rollerblades in front of a yellow corvette, showing off a little thigh and ass… well I say ass but clearly that is just the posture and angle giving the illusion of an ass when all you’re seeing is thigh, because we all know her ass is all kinds of flat and square. I do have to say though that this is the most cleaned-up Ke$ha has ever looked. But when this is the most cleaned-up you can look after Photoshop wizards have spent 5 whole days airbrushing you, that ain’t a good thing.

Now about that no ass of hers, she just needs to be trained in flexibility for 18 months by a ruthless Ukrainian rhythmic gymnastics coach.  Women underestimate the enhancement of their desirability which comes from flexibility training.  When I was a boy and I got my dirty little hands on my sister’s Barbie doll, the first thing I did was find out how wide her legs would go.  This is also the first thing I do with a new kidnap victim girlfriend, even to this day.

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