Kelly Ripa and Madonna must have read the same crazy book about what turns men on (or could it be how to turn them into a pillar of salt when you they look at you) because the only things she hasn’t managed to turn into a muscle is her hair and tongue (nah, scratch the tongue, it expands when she flexes).

Kelly, seen here enjoying some family time by the pool of her hotel in Miami, was as toned and flat as a surf board minus the nipples, the navel and the camel toe, all three of which decided to stage a coup and raised the flag of La Resistance.

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