Kim Kardashian filed her divorce papers yesterday morning which shocked us all to our core, because we believe Santa Claus is real and pigs can fly. Of course, we’re just glad she’s alive, because do you know how hard it is to keep up the facade of a fake marriage for a whole two months?
Kim was inconsolable yesterday, which is why she twitted the following a few hours after the announcement of her divorce: ‘Our store #KardashianKhaos is opening tomorrow at 9am at @TheMirageLV We are so excited!! Kardashian Khaos has arrived!” Kardashian Khaos indeed…’
And it seems whore matriarch Kris Jenner was equally devastated as she also followed her daughter’s twit with one of her own: ‘How fab is this sequin top I’ll be selling at QVC tonight??! Just like the one I’m wearing on my memoir cover!!!’
And if you still don’t believe this whole thing was better calculated and executed than a master ponzi scheme, here’s what Kim earned from the “Kris Humphries venture”:
1)$18 million in TV rights
2)$1 million from People Magazine for the wedding shots
3)$1 million from other magazine covers
4) $500,000 for the bachelorette party she hosted
5)$2 million for the engagement ring that she’s keeping
PS: Pics below are of the happy couple’s last appearance together. May they rest in peace, amen.