Once a Cheater..Can They Reform?

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We have all heard the saying “once a cheater always a cheater.” Most of us believe it too and may be wise to do so. However there are some circumstances in which the cheating partner is not all to blame for his infidelity. It is not an excuse there is just many circumstances that led up to the moment of him making love to another woman. Can someone be reformed once they have made love to another person while in a relationship? Also situations are different but research shows that with A good therapist who can teach you good communication skills with your partner, you may both come out of this on the other side closer and wiser than you were before.

Individual Situations

They say that a woman cheats for emotional support well I man longs for the physical closeness of another. They also say that men can compartmentalize different parts of their life and rationalize what they are doing and basically separate it completely from the fact that they are married. This is a startling fact that may make you run for the hills once someone has cheated on you. There were a lot of things leading up to this moment and most of it is due to bad communication. If you are dealing with a partner who has cheated on you after years and years of marriage and hasn’t been doing it since the beginning, you may have a real chance of repairing it. If they have cheated on you ever since the first date, it would take a lot of therapy to fix the situation as they are a chronic cheater and it may not be worth it.

It’s More About How You Act Now

One of the main problems after a couple has reconciled after one partner has been did someone outside of the marriage is the lack of trust that exists post coitus. The wronged partner may feel that they now have to keep their partner on a leash and keep tabs on them. They believe this will keep them at home and faithful to them if they know what they are doing at all times.

This could not be further from the truth, the more you hover over someone , The further away you push them. The main thing is if you decide to get back with somebody who was unfaithful to you, you made that decision now either live with the choice you made and move forward with the person, or leave them. Don’t constantly punish them. If you decided to forgive them then forgive them fully or not at all and just leave. It is not fair to either of you to have a giant elephant in the room all the time or for you to keep track of them. If you are in therapy with a good therapist, which you should be after an incidence of infidelity, they will tell you the same thing that continuing to distrust will only lead to more distrust and the same thing happening again. Clean the slate and treat your partner in a way that makes them want to work on the relationship and make amends with you. They are most likely feeling guilty enough already. They have been punished by you and society when they were caught having an affair to begin with. You’re better than this to let this tear you apart and become an over possessive partner. You were going to just have to trust them and if you cannot do that then it’s better off to leave the relationship.

If you can make it through this without too much turmoil, and your partner is generally sorry for hurting you, then you have a good chance of rebuilding a good foundation for a solid relationship.

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